Tag Archives: women

A life less sensible

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Sensible has two definitions in the dictionary:

1. done or chosen in accordance with wisdom or prudence; likely to be of benefit.
2. (of an object) practical and functional rather than decorative.
My mother was a practical, prudent woman but whether by nature or because of living through WWII and the following eight years of rationing, I will never know. Either way, her parenting was of a very strict, sensible nature and I learned how to manage money from her. Living a ‘sensible’ life, however, did not sit well with me.
My first marriage was to a ‘sensible’ young man, training to be an accountant with his own car and with aspirations to own his own home….I was beaten on my honeymoon.
My second marriage was to a less ‘sensible’ man, who made me laugh and was kind and generous. We were friends first and it was the arrival of our first child that pushed us to do the ‘sensible’ thing and buy a home together. We got on well but, like many friends, we had different ideas about many things. His new job in the City boosted his aspirations to make money and though I tried to be the executive wife (I even bought the blazer!) after twelve years together, this relationship ended.
Now I was torn….I needed to be ‘sensible’ as three young lives depended on me being their rock and supporting them and yet, having been married the first time at nineteen years old, I longed for the pressure to be lifted. Meeting my present partner gave me times of bliss, laughter and naughtiness which helped me maintain my ‘sensible’ parent status, seeing the children through school.
Turning fifty was a landmark moment, a time a lot of women dread but for me, with a new, exciting adventure in Wales to look forward to and my children through school and University, for the first time in my life, I felt carefree. Antonyms of sensible include foolish and stupid but for me, carefree means not automatically taking the prudent option but sometimes just ‘going for it’!
This last weekend I partied in a yurt in a field on Friday night, dancing of course, before performing at the Cardigan Bellydance Festival on the Saturday.
On Sunday, I taught morning and afternoon workshops. On Monday, I barrowed logs, made up two boxes of kindling, cooked, baked, washed and cleared up after the weekend. None of this was ‘sensible’ but I loved every second! Today, Tuesday, I’m spending the day writing as my body gave me a nudge to say it needed a rest.
Organising a building site requires me to be sensible with resources and time and organising the household, the same but for the rest of the time, I enjoy a less sensible life….paddling in the sea on Christmas day, getting my first tattoes Wales 2014 020

Eight pointed star, one of the symbols of Ishtar

Eight pointed star, one of the symbols of Ishtar

Dancing with my friends in the sunshine…..11053065_1610337169224773_4219450298485072431_ntaking time to dress and make up for a performance….10556448_727027910700917_1801320681454343591_n

welcoming the sun and moon in the sky….11012386_10153650985507802_1147847422645631772_n ….drawing pictures in the sand and writing the books I care passionately about….books for women….m_DSC01109 about strong, fabulous real women….Wales to 21st June 2014 013books to bring magic into your life every day, books about the beauty of Nature and the part women play as the goddesses of the world….Standing Stone Home For Christmas Cover drop shadow….as they deal with real life (including all the ‘sensible’ bits that make others lives run so smoothly) while embracing the women they really are….DSC_1413

Let go your inhibitions and join me, living a life less sensible.

You can find out more about ATS® Belly Dance at http://www.tribalunity.co.uk.

For links to all my books, please visit my author pages: http://www.amazon.com/Wendy-Steele/e/B007VZ1P06/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wendy-Steele/e/B007VZ1P06/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1365459567&sr=1-2-ent

Love and light xx

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Women of a certain age

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As we learn and grow our bodies, as well as our minds, change before our eyes. I look for tips, advice and sharing on social media from other women, as we tread this path of change together. Knowing other women feel as I do really helps me, as I embrace my crone years, rather than dread them. Here’s a little of my story and the tips I use.

Pre-menopause symptoms began for me in my early 40s. By 45, I was suffering the ‘big heat’ most days. I loathe the phrase ‘hot flush’! It suggests a warmth that comes and goes as simply as a pull on the toilet chain! I suffered in silence, embarassed in the supermarket as my face exploded in sweat, running into my eyes so I couldn’t punch my pin to pay for my shopping. My friend and dance teacher, Deana, suggested fenugreek tea and though a little weird as you feel hot and prickly straight after drinking, it did reduce the length of any ‘big heat’ episode but then came the night sweats.

DSC_1181I suffered these for many months, often having to change the bed twice in one night. Sleep deprivation caused more ‘big heat’ during the day and I gritted my teeth, determined to find a natural way to help myself. Evening primrose didn’t work and black cohosh made me really ill. On a trip to the nurse at my doctor’s surgery for a smear test, she asked me how I was and I burst into tears. She was wonderful and an appointment with my doctor was made. I now take the lowest form of HRT there is which has almost eliminated the night sweats and makes the ‘big heat’ moments bearable.

I’m sharing this because I’ve always wanted to be a natural girl but, as in giving birth to my children, sometimes you have to go with what is best for your body. Night sweats changed my life. I could no longer function through lack of sleep and I changed into a growling, grumpy monster. Taking HRT at first made me feel like a failure as I was unable to cope with the perfectly natural changes rampaging through my system but now I treat my little pink pill as something my body is missing that it needs.

It seems to me that stress and diet plays the biggest part in dictating the hormonal balance in my body. We came to Wales to help alleviate the stress and since sticking rigidly to no dairy in my already vegetarian wheat-free diet, I feel really well. There will always be stressful times but recovering from them quickly and with new found energy also helps.

My skin has changed drastically and after applying moisturiser the other morning, I realised how tight it felt across my cheeks. After consultation with my lovely friend Sarah at Spellbound Herbals, I now use two of her herbal, hand made products and I’m loving the results. I highly recommend ‘Bright Eyes’ skin lotion and ‘Magic Fountain of Youth’ face and neck skin cream. Pop along to http://www.spellboundherbals.co.uk for a browse.

Finally, aches and pains. I regularly dance six hours a week and for the past five years I’ve been using Sarah’s ‘Sore Muscle and Ligament Injury Oil’ before bed. It’s wonderful! It smells gorgeous and you can feel the warmth of the herbs spreading into your muscles immediately. In the morning, I wake up pretty much ache free. I’m always recommending it to other dancers but it works just as well after a day in the garden weeding!

Wales to 1 August 2014 002I hope this sharing will help you on your impending crone journey and feel free to share. I look forward to hearing your tips and advice. Love and light xx