Tag Archives: smoking

Six months without a fag

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In ten days time, 21st July 2018, it will be six months since I last smoked nicotine.

How’s it been?

In some respects, it is easier. The gnawing, gut churning pangs have lessened which is great, as has the insomnia. Looking back, I might have three good days and nights in a row…but the craving is still there.

I’m like a crazy stalker if a smoker comes towards me in the high street, inhaling deeply as they get close and turning with them to make the most of their smoke.

I’ve seen smokers sitting on a bench and been tempted to ask them to blow smoke my way.

I’ve stuck to walking two thousand steps when I wake in the morning, but I come in exhausted and want a cigarette.

People don’t have to be very mean and I want to cry. If they shout at me, I want a cigarette really badly.

And the benefits?

My physical body is settling down. I’ve lost the weight I put on and the HRT is doing the job. I’m very aware that my body is not the same, however, so the body I’m building will be a different one.

I’m embracing this as a challenge (I didn’t to start with! I cried and shouted and stamped about the unfairness of it all!) because I have to. I refuse to accept that I have to ‘settle’ and that because I’m in my crone stage that I have to put up with aches and pains and tiredness.

My bottom is changing shape, my arms are toning up and though I still get a little out of breath walking up steep hills, I recover much quicker.

Other benefits?

I haven’t noticed any extra money in the coffers, but I suppose there must be. I’m proud of myself, sticking to the promise I made to myself, but there are still days when it isn’t much fun!

Will I be celebrating six months smoke free?

On the 21st July, and the 22nd, I’ve been invited to the Great Glasshouse at The National Botanic Gardens of Wales for a weekend of story telling, ‘Plant Pots’. I shall be there with all my books, including The Flowerpot Witch, so why not arrange a day out of flowers and stories? https://botanicgarden.wales/visit/whats-on/storytelling-weekend/

For more musings, magic, dance and words, sign up for Wendy Woo’s Round Robin here http://wendysteele.us15.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=bd3cc38cba01c2dea4a5f386f&id=6210056252

Bright blessings xx

 

 

 

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Phoenix without her Fire

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On January 21st 2018, I stopped smoking nicotine. I didn’t use patches or gum or vaping. I believed Allan Carr, that stopping smoking was easy, read the book, made a commitment and more than six weeks on, I’m able to look back and see how Phoenix coped without her fire. I want to say at this point, my partner stopped smoking at the same time but, if you want to know how it was for him, you’ll have to ask him.

So I put out my fire because the addictive poison was dulling my passion for life, my drive, my confidence and my belief in myself and the Universe. The good news is, I’m coming back, flames bursting through the kindling, ready to ignite the logs. The bad news is, it wasn’t and still isn’t, easy.

Without nicotine pumping through my veins, I was possessed not of body but mind. That’s where the nicotine monster was, shacked up all cosy, chain smoking and blowing it right in my face. He tried a plethora of tricks to thwart me but he didn’t succeed for one reason and one reason only…I made a promise to myself that I would no longer smoke nicotine. I’m hot on promises, they work for me.

Reading the book was useful. It confirmed the things I knew and wanted, banged home a few home truths I needed to hear and gave me the framework to give up; smoke while you read this book, follow the instructions, be certain, smoke your last cigarette and make your vow.  But once I stopped smoking, the book and the words in it no longer helped, in fact, they hindered. The ‘stop moping around and get on with your life’ way of thinking didn’t help me at all.

The support of family and friends played a huge part in me keeping my promise. Looking after two new members of our family helped too.

I danced lots and swore, screamed and cried.

After about three weeks, I calmed down. The first sparks were igniting. Freezing, icy, stormy weather focussed my mind on drinking water, wood for our burners and the safety of neighbours and away from smoking. Working hard to finish writing The Flowerpot Witch has been another point of focus. I’ve cooked and baked abundantly, cut back a lot of brambles and chopped a lot of logs

Every day, instead of poison, pure light fills my veins. I’m alive and intend to stay that way for a long time. This Phoenix is back on fire.

 

 

 

The first signs of Spring

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While taking part in an online interview last week, talking about the progress of my Witchlit books and my writing life, I realised that now, the end of January, is the end of the calendar year for me this year  and this fills me with hope.

While there are good things to carry forward to a new exciting year, Awakened Bellydance™ , dancing with Tribal Unity Wales and the publication of two novels ‘The Naked Witch’ and ‘The Orphan Witch’, there has been one sadness I would have done anything to change.

The loss of my beautiful friend, Anna… I , the writer, have no words

But instead, today, on the eve of Imbolc, the beckoner of Spring, I begin a new year in memory of my friend. I carry her spirit, her passion, laughter, humour, song and dance, all of it. After the pain, sorrow and heartache, I am changed, renewed, refreshed.

I stopped smoking ten days ago. I am a non-smoker.

I will publish two more Lizzie Martin Witchlit novels this year.

Somehow, someway, I’ll share Awakened Bellydance™ , guiding women to their inner goddess and to the strength within themselves.

I will teach the dance I love, ATS® Bellydance, to my Tribal Unity Wales ladies and wherever we share the dance with the local community, we will be awesome.

I will be part of the Wheel of the Year, celebrating the seasons and tides.

 

Full moon blessings to you all.

Do subscribe to my YouTube channel for short stories and extracts from my novels, read to you from my Welsh riverbank

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw3ee9CuNdek9ZC1Im8I_iA