In 2005 a woman came into my life. I had recently joined a bellydance club and she joined too. I saw her as strong, in control of her life, forging forward on a path of which she was certain. I embraced the opportunity to do the same. She liked me. We danced together. I had a new friend.
Making friends was a challenge for me. I started primary school in a class of children who already knew each other from playschool and here began my life as an outsider. The pattern continued through my school and teen life; make a friend, laugh, share and be unceremoniously dumped, jeered at, ridiculed and bullied.
I was certain my new friend was different. In a safe space, she led me on my first path working. Here are the notes I made immediately after. ‘I’m in a temple. Columns rise around me and I sit on a vast stone seat. Looking up, icy fire bursts from the tops of the columns far above me. Someone is standing behind me. I am not afraid. He is Michael, the Archangel, protector and friend. A cloak of strength and wisdom protects me now, as it has always done. I look down at the creature sitting by my right foot. I see bulbous eyes, pointy nose and ears and many jointed fingers and toes but I feel I know him too and the mischief behind his eyes. The light is changing, sweeping around the columns, growing brighter until my body is full of a green-white, refreshing light. I feel my feet reaching down, pressing through the soft rich earth until I stand on ancient rock.
I see the Goddess of the Land, of Nature herself. I know her. I have always known her.
My Angel protects me, I need never fear.
My pixie shows me all sides of what my eyes see. I no longer feel in the dark.
The force and power of Nature, the Goddess, fills me and I know this magic is my path.’
For the first time in my life, I knew who I was and where I belonged. I saw myself for the first time. I am the sum of all that has happened to me in the past but much more. The contentment I felt, coming back to the ‘real world’ is the peace I strive for today as I write, dance and heal. I am now blessed with true friends in my life.
My writing became inspired by the magic that was mine, the love, joy and energy of nature that I wanted to share.
An interesting addition: after this pathworking, my relationship with ‘my friend’ began to change. I ‘saw’ her and she knew it. The friendship ended, not by her hand but mine and after months of manipulation, bullying and rudeness, I said ‘no more’. I then stood firm against her abusive emails and attempts to retain contact.