Dumping the routine and facing my fears

Standard

Routine makes us complacent, settling us in safe, familiar territory while improvising, reacting and being in the moment keeps our minds and bodies young and active.

11167955_1610750972516726_7729406917342820848_nThis is me at the weekend on Cei Bach beach striking a pose while balancing barefoot on a slippery rock!

My fears, including depression, pain and failure, required me to construct daily routines in order to function. Having a reason to get up and get going was vital while having something to look forward to was essential. In May 2013 we sold our house, moved to a tent, then a caravan and into a run down farmhouse and from that moment, routine was unobtainable.

I’ll be honest, it’s been a struggle at times but facing each new day, not knowing what it might bring, has been empowering. We’ve been in our house for almost 18 months now and finally have a new roof but it’s only now I can look back and see how much the lack of routine and the challenges I’ve faced have changed me.

I trust myself more

Making decisions, especially those involving what seems to me vast sums of money, takes courage. I’ve made mistakes but trusting myself means I’m not afraid anymore.

I feel more confident

Another first for me…I am no longer afraid to fail. Who quantifies and judges failure anyway? I do my best with everything I do so there can be no berating or guilt if plans go array.

I like myself more

I’m proud of me and I don’t mind saying it! Life isn’t about the opinions or approval of others. I appreciate how hard I work and the achievements I make but, most of all, I am happy that I live by my own values of honesty, trust and love.

I can look at myself in the mirror

I’ve always had a problem with mirrors but a few weeks ago, squeaky clean from the bath, as I danced in my room, I looked in the mirror. I saw my tattoos from your eyes, saw my face, shoulders, arms, neck and chest and for the first time in my life, I saw myself. I saw me. It wasn’t Wendy Mum, partner, dancer or writer who looked back at me but me, Wendy Woo, the person my friends, my girls, my sisters see.

On the beach with my home girls

On the beach with my home girls

I can highly recommend dumping your routine, facing your fears and living and being present in every moment of your life.

 

Advertisements

4 responses »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s