I’ve never liked February. It’s always felt like a ‘empty’ month, with January being the month to recover from Christmas while March is the beginning of Spring.

I realised my impending gloom as February loomed nearer was probably not helping, drawing negative energy to my negative thoughts so, this year, I endeavoured to trick my mind into believing that February was going to be fab.

With the celebration of Imbolc at the beginning of the month, I’ve managed to refocus my attention and my mind. I appreciate the role of winter far more, cherishing the new growth below the soil and within the trees and shrubs while freezing the earth to kill off unwanted bugs and germs.

I appreciate too, the late Bramley apples to make my crumble, my all time favourite comfort food, and the root vegetables and pulses that combine together to warm me with hearty soup.

Now I look to the light, for the warmth of the sun that I know will come, as the new shoots break the surface of the earth and fill the garden with the sweetest mauves and yellows, to the joyous hum of the bees.

February 2012 has been just like all other Februarys. I’m propped up in bed with a rotten virus, a clapped out back (overdid the painting and the dancing!), hot flushes (my hormones waging war on the virus and pain that racks my body) and no heating, as the boiler gave up but…….

I’m still smiling, writing on my A4 pad when an idea drifts into my brain and typing this for you.

No more gloomy rhetoric about the weather, the roads and the economy.

February is the month to prepare for Spring.

Love and light to you all.

When you dream of something with a passion, plans are good.

Plans focus your intent, throw up difficulties and make you ask questions of yourself and your commitment. Plans enable you to ascertain if a dream can feasibly become a reality. The deeper you question and the more detailed your plans, doubts and fears bubble to the surface seeking to undermine your dream.

Working through the simmering worries brings you even closer to a plan that will work and the list making begins

I’ve lived and worked with the above for the past two years, plans leading to more plans and those, in turn spurting forth list upon list. Logistics, possibilities, finances and feasibility have encroached on and consumed my working days and sleepless nights but the one thing I hadn’t planned for was the emotional fall out.

With two years to get used to our ‘dream move’, I believed I’d worked through my emotions but, after five weeks of physical exertion, moving the plan forward, the enormity of the emotional pull rendered me a tearful blob at the weekend.

In the past, I’ve ignored such feelings, pushing them aside and quashing them to enable me to continue on my practical course, but not anymore. How I feel is important.

The clock may be ticking, the countdown begun, but life’s not all about ‘blast off’. The journey to ’3…2…1′ is just as important and so, just for today, I’m turning my back on plans and lists.

No ‘doing’, just ‘being’.